Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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