So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
