question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
