I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
