He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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