woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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