Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
