Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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