I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
