so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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