NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
