i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
