My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
