wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
