she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
