I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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