ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
