My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
