make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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