FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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