are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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