found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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