I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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