let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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