Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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