Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
