I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
