i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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