THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
