Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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