This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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