have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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