you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
