Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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