in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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