Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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