nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
