So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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