and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
