and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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