You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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