You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
