plz talk dirty to me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
