Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
