ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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