He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
