when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
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filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.