You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.