I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
