sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
