i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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