I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
