Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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