i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
