My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
