Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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