You just made me feel so damn special
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
