Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Enjoy the penises
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
