So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
