it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
