I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
