That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
