no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
