what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
